The choices we make land us exactly where we are at this very moment.
If I’m not happy with myself, then it’s time I can either make different choices so I can get to where I want to be or I need to accept my current placement in life.
It’s become more clear to me how my brain is involved in my decision-making after learning about three key areas of the brain. These parts of the brain control the way I set and achieve my goals, develop empathy, and solve problems.
In fact, one area of the brain can “boss” around the other two. And learning how to use that area of the brain makes it possible to override the impulses that set us back from success.
Stop the name calling. Stop blaming others.
Be aware of the three key areas of the brain and how they affect your behavior and choices.
CONSCIOUS DISCIPLINE BRAIN STATE MODEL
The Conscious Discipline Brain State Model is a framework. It allows us to consciously manage our own thoughts and emotions so we can help others to do the same.
Take the time to become more self-aware through these 3 brain states.
1. Survival State
When attacked, what do you do? Attack back. Defend yourself. Or simply surrender.
The survival state originates in the brain stem and causes us to ask ourselves, “Am I safe?” Your answer will trigger that fight, flight, or surrender response.
2. Emotional State
Have you ever wondered if you’re loved by family? Worrying if you’re liked by co-workers and your boss. If things are not going your way, your emotional state kicks in.
It stems from the limbic system. Upset? You’re probably not able to see one another’s point of view and use words and tones as you did when you were a child.
“To feel an emotion you must become aware of it. With that awareness you’re best able to assess its validity. Without it, you’re only able to respond to the emotion unconsciously,” explains Raphael Cushnir, Psychology Today.
If you find you’re turning to alcohol, gambling, shopping, or Ben and Jerry’s a little too much… it may be because you’re stuffing away your emotional state rather than confronting it head on.
3. Executive State
We all have something we can learn from every situation. By accessing your brilliance and wisdom, you begin the problem solving stage in the “executive state”.
This brain state actually originates in the prefrontal lobes. This is where problem solving skills kick in.
“We can remain calm and can access our self-regulatory skills. In the state, we are eager to learn, play, and be curious about the world. The brain seeks high challenge, low stress situations as well as patterns and routines.” Conscious Discipline.
THE DISCONNECTED CONNECTION
When all three states are disconnected, all we can do is watch ourselves do stupid stuff.
Do you repeatedly make the same mistakes? Over and over? This is because the executive state is separated and not taking the control it needs to help you make important changes.
If I don’t want others taking charge of “me”, I have to connect with them. Taking charge of an upset emotion means I need to see things from other’s point of view.
The executive state takes control of the emotional state.
“People who have good emotional health are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. They have learned healthy ways to cope with the stress and problems that are a normal part of life. They feel good about themselves and have healthy relationships.” Family Doctor.
Sick? Divorced? Unemployed? Your emotions can make things so much worse. Once you recognize your emotions, calm your mind and body, take care of yourself, and live a balanced life.
CHOICES AND WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE
Every choice you make leads you to where you are right now.
You can either make different choices and take different actions to get you to where you want to be.
Satisfaction with your choices happens when you learn to accept where you are.
The choice is yours.